Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
tell me about the fingering
Randomize