In the future we'll all be gay
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
