Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
