Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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