Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
