I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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