White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
