Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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