hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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