Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
