i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
