JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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