Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
