So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
