I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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