well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
