grandma shit on top of the toilet
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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