You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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