Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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