Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
