obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
