she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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