I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
