i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize