last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
