You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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