I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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