Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
