It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
