you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
