Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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