Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
