Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
