why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize