Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
