Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
