I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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