my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
