I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
