i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
