You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize