??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is wine microwaveable?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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