He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
