I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
