Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
