Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
