how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
