no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
