oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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