Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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