walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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