I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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