Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
