The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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