I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
