i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
