capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
