you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize