I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
