I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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