Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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