It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
