Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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