they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
