In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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