I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
