so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
and you fell through a lawn chair
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize