Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
