ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
