new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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