Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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