Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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