Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
