How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
