You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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