I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
