Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
