i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
