dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
