On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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