So drunk, too bad you don't want this
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
